I'm starting to write again on April 1st. It could be a joke, but no, I'm back on track with my beloved blog, left fallow for a long time because of a thousand questions that I didn't want to hit my readers with a bamboozle.
Here I am at the Vancouver airport, ready to leave this city, almost three and a half years later. Three years of break in my incessant travels, holder of a terrible carbon footprint with my flights around the world. In my defense, I traveled in order to settle down somewhere, looking for a fertile land to put down roots somewhere. Of course, I've crunched my teeth on new experiences, new discoveries and above all new encounters in far away places. Far away from each other, far away from my home, then I came to wonder what my home was, then my home became people, then finally a small part of myself when depression created a deafening silence in my head and body.
The Pivot
So here I am at a new moment where everything changes, a magnificent and dizzying pivot. After three and a half new experiences, because I had never stayed in the same place for so long since I was a child, it's time for a kind of assessment, a glance in the mirror.
I won't come back on the depression, on the desire to throw myself off a bridge because finally, it was an episode that I recognize, that I accept and that allowed me to grow. I prefer to offer my readers the story of this exciting and extremely rewarding adventure that is my job at La Boussole.
Forum theater at La Boussole
I am thriving in my position as Forum Theatre Project Coordinator. This social intervention theater is a powerful tool to make people think, raise awareness and empower victims of social inequalities. It is a delicate job with a lot of responsibility. I feel that I am serving a cause that is bigger than myself and as a result, I forget about a lot of the obstacles. The ego is not in the driver's seat, the fear of not being good enough, of not being up to the task or of not being able to see on the screen are muted to let my desire, the mobilization of different skills acquired during totally different experiences.
And then I work with a great team, with great speakers, with fantastic volunteers and very committed participants.
Of course, this theatrical exercise stirs and even shocks by the themes it tackles. Social inequalities are still too widespread and above all, too commonplace. But these difficult moments also offer the opportunity for the people affected to raise awareness and to give elements to address a person correctly for example or to change their attitude and become more respectful.
Return to the natural habitat
From the airplane window, when I saw the light, something in me was very moved to find this atmosphere again. I knew that in the next few minutes, my body would find this dense equatorial humidity that some people hate and that I love so much, this raw light, this expected breeze when it is too hot, this burning sun on my skin. I feel like a fish that finds the water, especially the one that buries itself in the bed of dry rivers and waits for the return of the flood. I feel like those tulips and other spring flowers blooming with the first rays of sunshine and mild temperatures.
The trip to the city reminded me of Mauritius with this left-hand drive and this tropical vegetation. The motorcyclists reminded me of Mauritius and Madagascar. All my previous trips are intertwined with time.
Malaysia is far from being just a sunny vacation destination for me; it is a return to so many things. It is a return to one _ of many _ turning points in my life. It was the first time that I didn't plan a trip, that I wanted to let myself be surprised and live a little. It was going to see, without knowing it, an umpteenth version of the roots of the settlement of Reunion, an umpteenth version of my roots.
This morning, at the call of the muezzin, dogs of the district howled in heart. This witness of the cohabitation of the different communities (we are in a predominantly Chinese and Christian community and Ramadan is celebrated by the Muslim community) brings me back to Reunion Island where it is normal to respect the confession of one's neighbors. Of course, whether it is in Reunion or in Malaysia, there are always snags sometimes but on the whole, things are going pretty well.
As much as I appreciate this return to the warmth and "normal" living conditions for the native Reunionese that I am, I have time to appreciate my life and especially my work in Vancouver. Before discovering the meaning of the word "community" (I leave it in English in my French post because its meaning changes in French), I was suffering from the judgment that people were putting on me; Nathalie is "too nice", "you're going to get caught being like that all the time", and probably behind my back, Nathalie is a "sucker". When I came in contact with the concept of a "community center", everything made sense and I finally felt like I belonged. Working for society, for the common good, offering an unconditional welcome; this is finally what I can do and who I am.
I am finally back in the writing process and my next publication will address my adjacent art projects planned for the summer and fall.